Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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