Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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