While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize