So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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