i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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