At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
