that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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