I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What a dumb baby whore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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