Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
two words: eviction party
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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