we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
