I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
