Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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