I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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