Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
