so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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