hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
