No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Damn victory sex feels great
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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