Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
