my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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