A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
