I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
