you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
