found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
