Can Purell be used as lube?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
