i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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