Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
