You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
