I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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