The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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