People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
