Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
