It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
