My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
