If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
