Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
