you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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