does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This toilet bowl is my home.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
