Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to fling myself into the sun
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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