i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
