she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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