Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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