It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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