Its about making memories worth repressing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
