I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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