who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
