A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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