I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
