No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
