My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
