I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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