he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize