oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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