the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
