Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
