with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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