So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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