i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
