What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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