We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
