She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Text me some of your sweat
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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