if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
