she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
