please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's shark week go big or go home
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
